Motherhood- the first week home

Home. It feels so wonderful to be home after spending 5 days trapped in the hospital. Though the 5 days were a great way to make sure everything was ok with Kayden and myself before sending us off, I was incredibly ready to leave the confines of my little room and face the world.

It is still hard to grasp the concept that I am a "mommy" and Kayden is my "daughter". Those words sound so grown up, belonging to my parents or our friends. As I try to wrap my mind around the concept that my life has taken a turn towards parenthood, I am so greatful to posses the title of mom. Before I had Kayden, I was scared that she would not fit into the life that Shane and I share together or that she would just lay there and we would have no idea what to do with her. On the contrary, Kayden is incredible and the love that hit the instant she came out is overwhelming and amazing. She not only fits in to our little family, she has bonded us even closer together. Seeing Shane hold Kayden, rocking her, changing her numerous poopy diapers and constantly loving on her is the best sight I have ever seen.

I had no idea how emotional I would be after child birth. At any given moment I am prone to tears of joy or of some other unknown emotion. Hormones. Oh so fun!

My family was all here this past week and we were able to spend some great quality time with Kayden. We were also lucky to all be together to be there with Kayden as she experienced her first Sunday full of football, a favorite passtime. There was hardly a moment that she was not in someone's arms. She is a huge snuggler and loves to just curl up and take a nap on your shoulder. We are in awe of how much time we can spend just staring at her and laughing at her littlest facial expressions. Or watching in dread as her face signifies another dirty diaper!

After having been a pediatric nurse for 5 years, I have often wondered how my medical background would affect my parenting. Well, it seems that I have completely forgotten how to function as a nurse and have buried any common sense in the back of my brain. I AM that emotional mother who cries, ok balls, when told her baby has jaundice and needs to go under the lights. I shook the first time I gave her a bath. At the same time, I did check out her veins to make sure they seemed easy enough when the nurse had to draw blood. As time goes by, I am hoping that the nurse in me will continue to rise to the surface, objectively processing the daily changes in Kayden.

My favorite times of the day are after she feeds and takes a nap on my shoulder. She is so precious and peaceful, I wish I could sleep like she does! Every night is a new adventure- how much sleep will we all get??? Living in a constant state of exhaustion is a blast!

We took her out on the town where she was lulled to sleep by the cobblestone roads. This worked out perfectly, allowing us to have a quiet dinner out. She also went to her first Thanksgiving celebration with all of the Americans here. Though she did not get to have her first bites of turkey, I think she quite enjoyed being passed from one warm embrace to the next.

These are my rambling thoughts of the moment. Maybe after a little more sleep, I can come up with something a bit more cohesive. Moral of the story, I am so blessed to have Kayden Joy Matlock in my life!